How to write the card

We read every message before it ships. Not to censor you — to stop you embarrassing yourself.

The rule

Delighted, never mean. The recipient is the next recruit, not the victim. Punch at polite, boring gifting, never at the person holding the box.

• —Good: "You said you were bored. I fixed it."
• —Good: "This is what you get for Goa."
• —Bad: anything about their appearance, their job or their ex.

If a message trips our wordlist it still ships. It just gets read twice.