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Plan your own send-off

Somebody is going to have to organise this

It may as well be you, while you can still enjoy it.

Write down how you want to be sent off — who speaks, who is banned, what plays as everybody leaves — and it becomes a document your family will actually read. Not a form. Not a folder of instructions. One thing, printed, that answers the forty questions somebody would otherwise have to guess at in the worst week of their life.

The questions are ours. The answers are yours, and you can be as serious or as unreasonable in them as you like. Most people turn out to be both.

What you get

  • The plan

    Around forty questions, answered in whatever order you like, over as long as you like.

  • The document

    Typeset properly, downloadable as a PDF, and worth printing and putting in a drawer.

  • A nominee

    One person who can ask for it after you die. They are told they have been named, and they can decline.

  • A recording

    Optional. Video or audio, up to five minutes, held privately and released only afterwards.

One payment, once. Everything above is in it. There is no upgrade, no subscription and no charge to download your own document.

What it looks like

This is a made-up plan by a made-up person, typeset exactly the way yours would be. Refusals come first, on purpose — whoever reads it will be making phone calls within the hour.

Sample · not a real plan

The send-off of Radha

Radhika Anand Mehta · 9 March 1971 · Mumbai

What must not happen

Read this part before you make any phone calls.

Who should absolutely not be told?

Uncle Bharat. He knows why. Nobody else needs to.

Who is banned?

Bharat. And the neighbour who reported the terrace to the society.

Who does not speak?

My colleague Deepak. He will offer. Say no kindly.

What must never be said?

That I lost anything. I did not lose. I ran out of time, which is different.

What is forbidden?

Speeches over five minutes. An open mic. Anybody describing me as a fighter.

What must never be played?

Anything anybody describes beforehand as "appropriate".

The basics

Your full name, as it appears on the paperwork

Radhika Anand Mehta

And the name you would like said out loud

Radha

Date of birth

9 March 1971

Which city would this have to happen in?

Mumbai

Who gets told first, and on what number?

My brother Anand, 98XX XXXX XX. He is calm on the phone and will not ring anybody at 4am, which is more than can be said for the rest of them.

The disposal

What should be done with the body?

Cremation

Anywhere specific?

Whichever crematorium has parking. The one near the flyover made everybody late for Dad and I have not forgotten.

Any religious or cultural observance to follow — or explicitly none?

The short version of what my mother would have wanted. Nobody needs to sit through the long one.

The event

Do you want an event at all?

Yes

Where?

The terrace at home. If it rains, downstairs, and nobody is to apologise for the weather.

Who is invited?

Anyone who ever ate at my table. That is more people than my family thinks.

Dress code?

Whatever you already own. If you buy something black for this I will find a way to be annoyed.

Time of day?

Evening

How long should it go on?

Until people leave

Food and drink?

Vada pav from the stall on the corner, in enormous quantity. Nothing catered. Anand makes the tea and no one else touches it.

The soundtrack

What plays as people come in?

Something with a bit of noise in it. Priya has the playlist and she knows.

What plays at the moment everyone is trying to be sincere?

Nothing. Let the room be quiet for a minute, it will not kill anybody.

What plays as people leave?

Whatever gets people dancing badly in a car park.

The performers

Is anyone performing?

A brass band, Fireworks

Who, exactly?

The band from the wedding in Bandra. Anand has the number in his phone under "loud".

The most anyone should spend on this

40000

The words

Who speaks?

Anand, then Priya, in that order and not the other way round.

What must be said?

That I was funny on purpose. People keep getting that wrong.

The one story you want told

The one about the wrong wedding in Alibaug. Priya tells it best and she is to be allowed the full version.

And the one you want buried with you

They know the one.

The leftovers

What goes to whom?

The green cast-iron pan — Priya — she is the only one who will season it properly. The records — Anand — and he is to play them. The blue coat — anybody it fits.

Anything that should go to nobody?

The box in the top of the cupboard. Burn it, unopened, and do not be clever about it.

The charity

A charity, if you want one named

The stray dog shelter in Andheri

Their link

https://example.org

The last word

Anything else

You were all much better company than I ever admitted. Go home at a reasonable hour and eat something.

Radhika Anand Mehta · generated 1 August 2026 · diabolical.kitchen

In India, written funeral wishes are not legally binding. The executor and the family decide what happens. This is a document they will read, not an instruction they must follow.

What happens afterwards

You name one person as your nominee. We email them straight away so nobody is surprised later, and they can decline. While you are alive they cannot see any of it — not the document, not the recording, not whether it exists.

After you die, your nominee asks us to release it. We contact you first, three times over seven days, and any reply from you stops it dead. Then a person here reads the request and decides. Nothing is automatic, and nothing is released on a form alone.

You can also just send the document to them yourself, today, and skip all of that. Plenty of people should.

In India, written funeral wishes are not legally binding. The executor and the family decide what happens. This is a document they will read, not an instruction they must follow.

Opening soon

We cannot take payment yet, so this is not for sale today. Put your name down and you will hear the day it opens — nothing else, and nothing about anybody else’s.

Tell us to tell you

What you want

What do you want to inflict?

Pick as many as you like. At least one.

And what should we make next?

Nothing here exists yet. Enough interest and it might.

Somebody has died and named you

If you have been told you are somebody’s nominee and they have died, you can ask us to release what they left. It takes at least seven days and a person reviews it. We are sorry.

Make a release request